Anything but Ordinary

start of my block leave!

yeah~ christmas is coming! can almost smell the presents flying around and cameras snapping at santa claus and the big green cone-shaped tree... hee~ i feel so good everytime christmas comes cos it marks the end of the yr and the start of a better yr.... been having some troubled matters recently about some girl....
seems as though i have some feelings for her...not that i can control though....i just feel that whenever she used to be troubled about her ex-bf, i would wanna hug her and console her....
how to say? to me, she feels like the type of girl who's waiting for someone who can love her, console her when she's unhappy at work, share her joy and happiness, make her day when she is bored and out of ideas, and finally...tell her how important she is, in his life.... but it just seems that GOD is playing tricks on her by pairing her with someone who couldn't do these simple tasks....
for me, i'm a person who's always searching for someone whom i can love, take care of her when she's unwell, make her smile/laugh when she feels moody, surprise her with some nitty gritty ideas, share my joy and happiness with. and finally...tell her how important she is, in my life... but GOD seems to play abit of tricks on me too as i haven't found anyone whom i could relate all these feelings to, except for now....
she seems to be the kind of girl with the kind of personality that i had been looking for all along... but now the problem is that she is older than me....i duno if i would get scrutinise by our friends for this unusual celebrity-type-of relationship, i know i had been told many times true love doesn't have to bother about what the others think....but can we really ignore whatever pple say about us? our close friends gossiping? the biggest problem now lies in.....will she able to accept that i'm younger than her even though i could be the one who could make her life more colourful? it remains to be a difficult question which i have no guts to attempt... i'm just too afraid of losing this friendship and getting our frenz misunderstand about us.....winnie probe about it this afternoon but i was just not ready yet to tell her anything...i still need more time to think about what i should do next..... the study trip to australia seems quite at the right time...should i just go australia to hide from this problem and wait to see if she is attach 3 - 4 yrs later? how do i convince myself to do the right thing? in this case, which is the right decision? so many questions bombarding my mind, i hadn't had time to sort out my thoughts at all.....sad...sob...

bad experience this wkend....went to winnie's birthday and ate too much...causing indigestion....vomitted and diarrhoea for 3 times each.... only managed to get well by sunday morning....pretty bad...couldn't eat breakfast and lunch...only when i went to soohua and lina's small gathering at the gallery hotel then i had some appetite to eat... stayed there to till about 2am then me and the guys left....
now that i'm back, i guess i should catch a nap first before i wake up to go for my bike lesson.....ciaoz~!

posted by Stoner @ 4:36 am