lazy week
man..i can't do this! been slacking for the past 2 days already....must really go for some exercise tmr! hee~
had some thoughts recently about the girl whom have been in my mind for awhile... the angel and devil inside me has been struggling to tell me what i should think and do..... the devil tells me that she's the right girl with the right personality and i should just go all out to get her! then the angel retaliates by saying that she's someone i shouldn't be thinking of at all.... and the saga continues on without a single clue of when it's gonna end....
went christmas shopping with jolene last night, managed to assist her in buying a budget $15 and below christmas present for her bf...a key chain in the end....what a tough time we had.... walking thru the suntec city shopping towers and the city-link, i seemed to realise that there's lotsa stuffs which i can look at and consider buying them as christmas presents... the pendants are affordable, the sports accessories are full of varieties, the designer cups look great and the clothings look nice too!
2nd day of my 1 wk block leave has passed... countdown to 4 more days to christmas!! so excited!! haha....
start of my block leave!
yeah~ christmas is coming! can almost smell the presents flying around and cameras snapping at santa claus and the big green cone-shaped tree... hee~ i feel so good everytime christmas comes cos it marks the end of the yr and the start of a better yr.... been having some troubled matters recently about some girl....
seems as though i have some feelings for her...not that i can control though....i just feel that whenever she used to be troubled about her ex-bf, i would wanna hug her and console her....
how to say? to me, she feels like the type of girl who's waiting for someone who can love her, console her when she's unhappy at work, share her joy and happiness, make her day when she is bored and out of ideas, and finally...tell her how important she is, in his life.... but it just seems that GOD is playing tricks on her by pairing her with someone who couldn't do these simple tasks....
for me, i'm a person who's always searching for someone whom i can love, take care of her when she's unwell, make her smile/laugh when she feels moody, surprise her with some nitty gritty ideas, share my joy and happiness with. and finally...tell her how important she is, in my life... but GOD seems to play abit of tricks on me too as i haven't found anyone whom i could relate all these feelings to, except for now....
she seems to be the kind of girl with the kind of personality that i had been looking for all along... but now the problem is that she is older than me....i duno if i would get scrutinise by our friends for this unusual celebrity-type-of relationship, i know i had been told many times true love doesn't have to bother about what the others think....but can we really ignore whatever pple say about us? our close friends gossiping? the biggest problem now lies in.....will she able to accept that i'm younger than her even though i could be the one who could make her life more colourful? it remains to be a difficult question which i have no guts to attempt... i'm just too afraid of losing this friendship and getting our frenz misunderstand about us.....winnie probe about it this afternoon but i was just not ready yet to tell her anything...i still need more time to think about what i should do next..... the study trip to australia seems quite at the right time...should i just go australia to hide from this problem and wait to see if she is attach 3 - 4 yrs later? how do i convince myself to do the right thing? in this case, which is the right decision? so many questions bombarding my mind, i hadn't had time to sort out my thoughts at all.....sad...sob...
bad experience this wkend....went to winnie's birthday and ate too much...causing indigestion....vomitted and diarrhoea for 3 times each.... only managed to get well by sunday morning....pretty bad...couldn't eat breakfast and lunch...only when i went to soohua and lina's small gathering at the gallery hotel then i had some appetite to eat... stayed there to till about 2am then me and the guys left....
now that i'm back, i guess i should catch a nap first before i wake up to go for my bike lesson.....ciaoz~!
doz....
man...what a taxing weekend....had duty on friday....it was the day when a new batch of armour unit's recruits came in.....seeing them gonna start their NS liability soon, i suddenly had this flashback about my enlistment day, the night before and my first night in an unfamiliar place... my first blog and many many more.... looking at them, it suddenly dawn on me that i'm already 1 yr 4 months into my service... just about 8 more months to go, and i could get to see my own pink IC again....
Friday ended pretty much nothing except for 2 guys reporting sick late at night... my poor colleague had to accompany 1 to the nearest 24hr medical centre, and another to Alexandra Hospital(i couldn't go cos i had to man the phone)... he came back pretty late and i had to wait up for him to make sure he's alright too... anyway, sat came and passed by very quickly...after booking out with darren(my unit fren) who also just finished duty, i crashed straight to my bed... MY PRECIOUS...haha.. anyway i woke up sometime in the afternoon when i was called up to help my dad set-up his catering stuffs... took us quite sometime...when it ended, it was about 8pm... i had to rush home, bathe and rush to 2 of my fren's chalets.. at 2 different places! MAN!... fortunately my dad is kind enough to lend me his car, so off i went and in the end, i missed the fun on both sides cos i went too late...kinda guilty towards them to arrive so late...but no choice though...family's more important to me..
after the chalet i went to watch Newcastle vs Arsenal at a cafe with my frenz...so pissed off by the results... 1-0..
sunday seems to pass by even quicker!! haha.. i woke up around 12 plus, missed an appointment with my frenz...(they sound like pissed..haha) and then i went to a fren's hse to volunteer my face again for the weekly facial...hehe! so nice of her...must bring her some nice food next wkend.. hm..as for today, i'm on OFF, so i took the opportunity to go for my bike lesson 2(pissed again cos i couldn't advance to next lesson.. argh)... then after that pretty much nothing...so boring right? sigh...i also duno why...sometimes i just kinda like this kind of boring weekends....i mean SOMETIMES...haha..
recently i've been thinking...do i really need a gf now? i know my frenz has been comforting me over my breakup...honestly i've pretty much got over it...just that they keep telling me that i should go find someone better and this qns suddenly just came into my mind and stayed there... so i've yet to find an ans for this, but i can feel it coming close... soon....
anyway i need to go sleep liao...gotta wake up to go back camp later!
ciaoz~
tiring..
had a pretty tiring wkend this wk...but it was quite long and i felt good to have stayed home for so long... been at home since thursday...
thursday marks another chapter of my life as my first relationship officially ended...despite my futile attempts to salvage....i still couldn't understand how 2 person who likes each other, enjoys each other's company, cannot be lovers... though the reason given to me was that she had no time and wished to concentrate on her studies/job... it was hard to swallow... but anyway, since she had no wish to continue our relationship, no point holding on to it...minus off the love, we could still have friendship..... maybe she's right afterall, both of us might consider going separate places to study our degree, so it's not so ideal to hold on to the relationship and influence our choices...
they say that the first relationship is always hard to let go...somehow true...
anyway i should just spend more time with my family and friends now, cos i realised that i dun really need a soulmate for now...i'm still young and should enjoy the youth with all my family and friends....
heard some rumours about going to India....looks like i have to start stocking up and packing my bags again.... again the excitement and sadness starts to fall in.... but this time, i'm more optimistic about going cos after being cooped up for 46 days in Brunei, 19 days in India is really nothing....just that i heard that there're no allowances this time...haha *low morale*
tmr is my half-annual medic proficiency test at kranji camp... quite nervous now cos i hadn't done any revision much these days...
gonna start clearing leave soon...and christmas is coming too... so looking forward to this end of the yr festival cos i could start asking my 'single' friends to go out!! i can't wait to go for the christmas parties!!! hee~
alright, gotta go study liao...i dun have much time!! ciaoz~
